UNFUCK YOUR SEX LIFE.
MORE SPARK. DEEPER CONNECTION. Redefine yourself.
Many of us gay and queer men enter this world in secrecy and shame surrounding our sexualities.
We internalize the shame, and it is a tremendous weight to bear. It affects our relationships, our connections to our living world, and how we care for our deepest selves.
When our cocks don’t measure up to arbitrary standards or when our bodies don’t feel beach-ready, we may feel unworthy of committed love, undeserving of sexual attention, unworthy of even being seen.
We may overcompensate for our collective shame by achieving, becoming addicted, or ceaselessly chasing youth, brawn, or other rigid standards of beauty—in ourselves, in other people, and in the objects of our lust.
Even if we find ourselves in love, we may still spend our entire lives trying to make sense of our fragmented experiences.
And the shame continues.
To wreak havoc.
On our lives. On our sex lives.
No matter how attracted to our partner(s) we are or once were, we stagnate. We flatline. We cling to safety and lie about our deepest needs. We struggle to show up.
The good news.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way.
The good news is that each of us as queer men holds the keys to a fulfilling sex life — with our boyfriends, partners, polyamorous networks, and/or fuck-buddies—and ourselves.
The good news is that authenticity is within reach, that grounded, unshakeable confidence is attainable,
that the birthplace for deep, life-giving connections with self and other men lies within us.
Instead of pursuing a “cure,” we must look at how we experience our pain. And the meaning we make of it.
Unfucking your sex life starts with you.
Are you ready?
SEX iS a fUNCTION OF BODY PARTS.
EROTICISM iS a cULTIVATED ART.
CRAFT YOUR CONNECTIONS
DEEP THRUST
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This course is good for:
Partners who deeply love each other but struggle to open all the way. Relationships in good standing yet sense something “missing”. Partners who are ready to dive into a transformative process of self-growth. Those who view partnership as a life path.
*For this course, a history of personal and/or couples therapy is strongly suggested.
Romantic partnerships come with unique gifts and burdens. Additionally, gay relationships carry cultural scars, igniting our collective defenses about masculinity and sex. However, beneath these defenses lies our greatest personal potential. In the depths of our deepest wounds, we can access a pathway to our highest aspirations. Unfortunately, we often spend much of our time in relationships maintaining strategies for personal safety at the expense of abandoned parts of ourselves. Though we long to be met, changing these strategies can feel impossible. Yet, when we shift our mindsets from self-protection to embracing the friction of growth, our partnerships become containers in which we become more whole—capable of withstanding the anxiety of separateness while achieving a more authentic sense of unity.
This course addresses:
Deepening commitment.
Accelerating differentiation.
Effectively harnessing resistance and resentment, tapping into growth.
Crafting unique, mutual agreements about sexuality and eroticism, no matter which relationship structure you choose.
Learning the art of intentional erotic reconditioning: partnered and solo.
Using conflict to access deeper closeness.
Renegotiating boundaries and updating relational patterns.
How to maximize difficult conversations for personal growth.
Learn skills to be a better lover.
JUST THE TIP
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This course is good for:
New relationships. Relationships in transition to co-habitation. Relationships that need a "tune-up.”
*For this course, you don't need any prior or adjunctive therapy, though it is suggested.
More than ever, gay relationships have become quite challenging because they are naturally riddled with paradox. In some ways, we enjoy more permission to be ourselves, and for many queer people, sexuality is a central facet of personal identification. At the same time, our sexuality has been the very aspect that cost us, when we were young, the necessary foundational acceptance we needed in order to create healthy, fulfilling adult relationships. Like all relationships, gay ones are challenging; yet, we are uniquely burdened by those cultural legacy issues inherited about male bodies, masculinity, shame, and a lack of permission to feel vulnerable. As a result, gay relationships frequently suffer from intimacy issues that can be avoided by learning significant tools to increase relational security while, at the same time, prioritizing sexual expression.
This course addresses:
Which relationship structure is right for me? Whether some type of open relationship or a sexually exclusive relationship.
How to craft unique, mutual agreements about sexuality and eroticism, no matter which relationship structure you choose.
Why self-pleasure can be beneficial for your sexual relationship(s).
Practice effective boundaries.
Managing triggers.
How to frame conflict in order to maximize personal growth.
How to have important difficult conversations.
Learn skills to be a better lover.
PRESENCE & POWER
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This instructional video is good for everybody:
Those in relationships or solo. Relationships in any stage. Those who desire to break through obstacles in erotic connection with partners. Non-attached people looking to improve the quality of sexual encounters.
1 hour and 44 minutes of instruction: 12 individual exercises to improve your sex life.
What this video covers:
How to connect more deeply with partners
How to improve the quality of your sex life
How to be more present in sex
How to access more personal power through your eroticism
How to use fantasies as a map for personal growth
An introduction to dominance and submission
Working through inhibitions in order to feel and express more
Embodied exercises to learn how to be a better lover